i was buying toilet paper today when i figured out i need to do something

"gin-san - shitpost specialist" (gin-san-) 01/03/2018 at 18:51 • Filed to: HYGIENOLOCK

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I need a bidet.

Not a fancy separate bowl, but a fancy Japanese one that bolts onto your existing toilet:

I thought they would be unpleasant when I first used one in Tokyo, but it has the added benefit of a warmed seat without the grossness of it being a warm public toilet seat.

Even the water it shoots at your bunghole is warmed and you can adjust temperature and pressure.

Here I am having learned my lesson after buying cheap no-name brand toilet paper which tore me a new arsehole to fancy toilet paper made of duck down, kittens, and cashmere.

Takuro Spirit > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 19:17

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I get these:

Nothing cleans old hairy man ass like wet wipes. And they’re cheap (Less than $3 per box) and flushable.

KnowsAboutCars > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 19:21

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I have a feeling that plain bidet shower would be cheaper. It has all the benefits you mentioned except for heated seat.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Takuro Spirit 01/03/2018 at 19:34

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I had thought that despite these being flushable that they fucked with plumbing. I’ve thought about this, for sure.

Takuro Spirit > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 19:37

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No problems in my 1960's house with what appears to be original cast iron toilet plumbing.

The showers clogging with long female hair however....

gin-san - shitpost specialist > KnowsAboutCars 01/03/2018 at 19:37

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Perhaps, the problem is that I live in a one bed/bath apartment. The Japanese solution makes sense in my place, the only alternative is to go with a bidet toilet that’s all in one unit (made by the same Japanese company) but is much, much more expensive.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Takuro Spirit 01/03/2018 at 19:38

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This is fortunate news, although not as needed now that I have some excellent toilet paper. Since it was bought in a large quantity, I think I may be set for most of 2018.

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 19:40

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We have the one I’ve linked below installed in both of our upstairs bathrooms (bedroom level). I would have gone with the one that allows for hot water but didn’t want to deal with running a hot water line half way across the bathroom and around the shower surround to the toilet.

Stupid easy to install and you can buy them on amazon if you want.

https://joybidet.com/bidet1.html

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Takuro Spirit 01/03/2018 at 19:41

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No problems... yet .

But seriously “flushable” wipes are a menace to waste disposal in general, not just house plumbing.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Phyrxes once again has a wagon! 01/03/2018 at 20:00

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This is the idea but the hot water is a necessity. Cold water here in the winter time is so cold you wonder why the tap isn’t shooting icicles instead. You do NOT want this water up your arse.

The one I’m looking at doesn’t involve routing a hot water line - the only water connection is to the same supply as the toilet .

The only hurdle is that I would have to route a new outlet closer to the toilet, which I’m trying to figure out how to do since the closest electrical connection is a GFI outlet near my bathroom sink, and would involve drilling through and cutting cabinetry.

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 20:25

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Interesting, for me the outlet would actually be more of a pain than running and hiding a hot water line from under the sink. Do you have the ability to pull power from the circuit that might be in the wall next to the toilet?

Nibbles > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 20:28

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Everybody needs a bidet

BaconSandwich is tasty. > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/03/2018 at 20:53

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Having never used one before, how does it dry things down there? My fear would be soggy nether-regions.

The prospect of a warm public toilet seat is frightening. Not nearly as bad as the fear of sitting down, only to realize the seat wasn’t down.

syaieya > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/04/2018 at 00:20

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My girlfriend has already said that should we start sharing a place, a bidet will be a thing.

So at some point this research will be needed

Cé hé sin > Nibbles 01/04/2018 at 07:03

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And in Italy, they get them. Compulsory on new builds and renovations since I think the 1970s.

StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8 > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/04/2018 at 09:01

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I have a Tushy one (don’t go to Tushy.com unless you want something completely different......so not at work), game changer. They are super nice to use, mine is cold water only but honestly it feels great and refreshing.

Nibbles > Cé hé sin 01/04/2018 at 10:49

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That is awesome. The Us is backwards in many ways. Paper is stone-age technology. Power-washing your ass is the best thing ever

gin-san - shitpost specialist > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/04/2018 at 18:22

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There’s still toilet paper, but it’s solely for the purpose of drying off. I think fancy ones have a dryer function built in but I don’t think I saw this function while in Japan. You end up using a lot less toilet paper, though, since you’re not just smearing feces around.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Nibbles 01/04/2018 at 18:28

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Honestly, we’ve adopted smearing shit around with our hands to be the best option. It’s unfortunate.

If there was a big market for them in the US I think the technology would be miles ahead. Noise cancellation technology to hide your farts, aromatic oil vaporizers, automatic air filtration systems, Bluetooth connectivity, Alexa/Siri/Google compatibility (“Hey Google, prepare my throne for docking in two minutes.”); our countries would be so much better.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8 01/04/2018 at 18:34

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I think I had heard about that on Freakonomics, the lady who started the company said the same thing about Tushy.com; I had forgotten about that product, but coldwater only is something I want to avoid just because water is ice-cold here during the winter and I don’t want that in my bumcrack.

Nibbles > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/04/2018 at 18:44

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PATENT PENDING

StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8 > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/05/2018 at 08:39

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I live in MI, this morning it was -2 F and the water never feels anything but refreshing on the bum. I’ve been to a few sinks in the office that had chilled water, I could see that being a little too much. Warm water does sound nice, and Tushy makes one as well.